iCan't Do this without You
by Mrpointyhorns
Summary: After Freddie spends some necessary time with his boyfriend, Lucas. He realizes how hard it is to be distanced from him. The rest of the school finds out about Freddie's boyfriend. It doesn't help when Sam starts dating Pete. Next after iThink I Love You
1. Chapter 1

Title: iCan't do this without You

Author: Mrpointyhorns aka Blemery

Rating: PG

Status: In Progress

Part: 1

Pairings: Freddie/Lucas, later Sam/Pete and Carly/Griffin

Warnings: Slash

Spoilers: iMake Sam Girler, iGo Nuclear, iDate a Bad Boy, iReunite with Missy(possibly)

Summary: A long one shot where Freddie and Lucas struggle come to terms with their almost feelings!

Beta: None.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by someone else. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: Okay, I'm sorry. I lied! I said that the last story iHave a Secret would be 5 chapters. But, after reading over the story I felt like the story ended during the fourth chapter where Carly and Freddie make up resolving the conflict. This moves on to another conflict and I couldn't see combine it with the original story. I was going to completely cut it, but I think it makes a good long one shot! I have another story in the works that will be longer!

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><p>When Lucas came, over dress up in slacks and a button down green shirt, Freddie was impressed. He had said before that he didn't care what Lucas looked like or what he wore, but seeing Lucas dressed up like that, for him, it really did make a difference. Freddie's mom made Lucas come inside so that they could take photos.<p>

"We're not going to prom." Freddie pointed out.

"I know, but it is your first date with him, Freddie. I'm going to do this for prom too you know," Marissa said. She made them stand shoulder to shoulder, then with their arms around each other, then facing each other, then in front of the window, then kissing, and then sitting on the couch, then Freddie sitting and Lucas standing.

"Mom we're going to be late for the movie," Freddie finally said. He wanted to have the pictures too, but really he couldn't see how more pictures with them in different positions were going to be better. Plus, if he didn't go on the date then the pictures wouldn't represent him going on a date. That would defeat the whole purpose.

"Okay. Alright. You boys go and have fun. Are you sure you don't need me to drive?" Marissa asked.

"No, I can drive," Lucas reminded she smiled realizing her mistake. "When we come back you can take more pictures if you want."

"You're too sweet, but I'm not going to wait up. But I set my alarm for 2 am and if you boys are not in bed I will use my GPS to locate you," Marissa warned.

"Mom!" Freddie yelped. He took Lucas's hand. "Let's go."

"What is she talking about?" Lucas asked.

"Nothing it's nothing," Freddie promised. He led Lucas out of the apartment and then down the stairs out of the building. Then he looked at Lucas. "Well since you wanted to surprise me…"

Lucas smiled. He held on to Freddie's hand and led him in the direction he wanted to go. It was only two blocks south and one east so it wasn't that far, and it gave them a chance to talk. Only they were very quiet. It was Freddie's first real date and even though he had been dating Lucas for a while it was kind of different. He didn't know what to say on a date opposed to what to say when he was just hanging out with Lucas. Were they supposed to just talk about certain things like marriage or future plans? He already knew a bunch of things about Lucas so he it wasn't like he could ask Lucas what he liked to do, what his favorite color was. He knew these things already. But he wasn't sure if he could just start talking like they normally would talk if they weren't on a date. Lucas was quiet too, but Freddie wasn't sure if he was nervous or just concentrating on where they were going.

They stopped at a Van's Bistro Freddie had been there before, since it wasn't far from his house. It had really delicious burgers. He didn't go often because his mother didn't really trust meat that she didn't prepare herself, but Freddie had gone a few times with other people. Sam really liked the restaurant, but she preferred to get her meat for free like from Carly's refrigerator. Freddie smiled when Lucas opened the door. He put a hand on the small of Freddie's back to help him into the restaurant. Not that Freddie really needed help, but the gesture was appreciated for the thought. Lucas spoke with the host. He was a young man who looked around seventeen. He looked at them somewhat bored.

"Hi, table for two it's under Lucas." Lucas took Freddie's hand when Freddie stopped beside them; they had stopped holding hands when Lucas opened the door for him. Freddie smiled happy that Lucas was so eager to hold his hand. It was such a small gesture, but it was the first time that Freddie had someone who wanted to do that. Carly had never been interested in holding his hand or anything else. He understood that she couldn't help that she didn't return his feelings for her, but her not doing it made him appreciate Lucas more for doing it.

The host glanced at the list of reservations and then at the map of the restaurant tables. He looked up and then down at their hands. He looked a little startled. Surprised. Maybe just because he hadn't noticed before and the hand holding thing had changed the situation and that surprised him, but maybe not. He cleared his throat. "Uh…I…this way." He said. He crossed off the name and the table before leading them into the restaurant. They at a booth that was kind of private near that back of the restaurant. The restaurant was semi crowded it was Saturday but because they were seeing a movie later, they were at the restaurant a little before rush. The restaurant was only about half full.

Freddie was a little surprised when Lucas sat on the booth beside him instead of across from him, but he didn't fight it he just moved over. The host was shifting around on his feet and pushed the menus at them quickly. "Uh…I…we…have you been here before?"

"I have." Freddie looked at Lucas.

"Nah, but you can explain to me right?" Lucas asked.

"Sure." Freddie nodded looking back at the host. "We're good."

"Okay, but just so you know the soup is minestrone and the house burger is the four cheeses and bacon. There is also a bacon avocado that is around for only the month." The host spoke fast and he was shifting and looking around. "I'll get your waiter."

Freddie watched him run away. "Gee…"

"Don't worry about him. I don't think he cared." Lucas turned to look at Freddie.

"What? How was that him not caring?" Freddie asked.

"I thought he was more concerned about someone who he thought might care. That's why he was looking around. Maybe someone he works with." Lucas shrugged his shoulders. "He didn't seem to care."

"Oh." Freddie shrugged either way it was still awkward. "SO what are you going to get to drink?"

"A lemonade." Lucas looked at Freddie like he was being sort of weird; asking about dinner was one thing asking about drinks was another.

"You really like lemonade don't you?" Freddie asked.

"Yes. I like how it's never the same. You can go to any place and it will always be different. Sometimes sweeter sometimes more sourer. It's just so delicious."

"Better than rootbeer?" Freddie asked.

"Well I was going to get that at the theater." Lucas admitted. "Why do they have specialty rootbeer here?"

"No I think its just coke's." Freddie replied.

"Have you ever tried Virgil's? It is so smooth, but it has an excellent bite just at the end. Did you know that rootbeer is made out of actual roots and its brewed just like real beer and it naturally doesn't have caffeine in it and the sugar comes from the root not from sugar cane or anything?" Lucas asked.

"Dude you know a lot about rootbeer." Freddie laughed. He leaned over and hugged Lucas because of his silliness was making him relax more and be more normal with Lucas.

"Well I was going do a Fяed video about rootbeer and how awesome it is. But it started to get a little too educational so I decided to let the information stew until I can make it funny and a little educational," Lucas said.

"Cool! You can make fun of all those television shows where it's about kids going on a field trip to a factor. Like Fяed going to a rootbeer brewery."

"I don't know any." Lucas pointed out. "But it would be cool to go to one."

"Totally cool." Freddie agreed.

"How you guys doing?" Freddie blinked looking up. The waiter was standing in front of them. He had a red shirt on with the Van's logo so it was clear that he worked there.

"We're good." Lucas said.

"Great can I get you something to drink?" The waiter asked.

"Yes, I would like a lemonade and Freddie…?"

"A cherry coke please." Freddie said.

"Extra cherries." Lucas looked at the waiter. "You can bring extra right?"

"Sure." The waiter shrugged his shoulders. "I'll be right back with those."

"I love cherries." Lucas grinned.

"You're adorable." Freddie smiled back. He looked down at the menu. Since he had been there before he already knew which burgers he liked he just had to pick one. He would probably get the Jack Daniels burger. He loved the sauce it was so good as long as he made sure not to get any onions.

"Well I know what I'm going to get," Lucas said putting his menu aside. "Are you done?"

Freddie nodded. "I'm getting the Jack Daniels burger."

"I'm getting the jalapeño buffalo burger."

"That's really spicy Lucas." Freddie pointed out. Lucas nodded that he knew and Freddie backed off. "So…"

Lucas looked at him leaning forward and made a gesture for Freddie to continue. When he didn't he sat back up and tilted his head to the side. "What's up baby boy?"

Freddie blinked. He didn't know what he had wanted to say. He didn't know what to say. The early issues about saying something date like were rearing their head, but after the lemonade/rootbeer thing he wasn't sure if it was all that big of deal. "Do you want to get married?"

"Not tonight." Lucas replied. He tilted his head more and started to blink even more. "Do you want to get married?"

"Well not tonight either, but yes in the future I want to get married and I want to have kids or adopt them, whatever, I want to raise kids." Freddie looked at Lucas. "I want like five, but I want to try it with two first and see if I can handle it."

"Don't babies come one at a time? And why are we talking about this? Dude we're not even out of high school." Lucas asked.

"It's a date don't people talk about this at dates?" Freddie asked.

"I don't think so. I think this is the kind of thing that makes most guys run away, but again we're still in High School so I wasn't really assuming you were talking about today, or next week or in a month or anytime soon," Lucas said. "I don't even know if you were talking about it like you thought that maybe we would get married."

"Oh sorry." Freddie frowned feeling so stupid. He looked away. There were silences for a few moments, but then the drinks were being placed in front of them. Freddie looked up when he heard the sound of the cups being set down.

"Okay one lemonade and one cherry coke with extra cherries. Now what can I get you to eat?" The waiter asked.

"He wants a Jack Daniels burger and I will have a jalapeño buffalo burger." Lucas ordered for both of them. "They come with fries right?"

"Yup, string, steak, curly or chips."

"String." Lucas looked at Freddie. Freddie nodded. "String for him too."

"Okay. Awesome thanks guys," The waiter said walking away.

Freddie turned to his drink pushing the cherries around with his straw. He liked to save the cherries for last so he pushed most over them to the bottom. "Okay Freddie what gives?"

Freddie looked at Lucas threw the corner of his eye. He looked concerned, worried. It made Freddie feel even more awkward and guilty! "I'm sorry Luke. I guess I'm really not good at this dating thing."

"You're just trying to hard dude. Come on it's just me!" Lucas leaned close bumping shoulders with him. "I know I picked you up for our date even though I didn't have to, but this really isn't a first date. We already know each other. If anything our first date was all our online chatting, or when I came over so we could make up on iCarly.

"Okay." Freddie nodded. He didn't feel better though. If this wasn't the first date then he was really out of his league. He didn't know what to do on a first one how was he supposed to know what to do on whatever number this was one?

Lucas nudged Freddie again. Then he put his arm around Freddie's shoulder and shook him a gently. "Come on Freddie don't think about it so much okay. Just relax. Relax." Lucas wiggled them around silly on the booth and Freddie had to smile at how stupid they must look. He pushed Lucas away. "At least I got a smile. Do you feel better?"

"Yeah kinda. So basically you're saying we can just be normal with each other?" Freddie asked.

"Sure we're just normal with each other, only in public." Lucas put his arm around Freddie again but he didn't shake him or jiggle them. He just kept his arm around Freddie. "Just like normal see?"

"Yeah." Freddie nodded. "So…have you been working on your robot?"

"Like you wouldn't believe, but I'm not telling you anything you spy." Lucas reached for his lemonade taking a sip of it. "You're going down."

"Aw you can't do that to me can you?" Freddie pouted.

"Yes I can. I will do it and I will be happy about it and I'll wiggle my ass in front of your face and laugh and say niener niener niener!"

"You…you're…you're so mature." Freddie glared.

"I'll still be a winner so who cares." Lucas laughed.

"Okay I'll give you that." Freddie laughed too. He leaned forward kissing the corner of Lucas's mouth. "Now will you let tell me?"

"What do you think I am easy?" Lucas asked.

"I had to try." Freddie shrugged. "Do you want tongue?"

"Yeah I want tongue, but I'm still not going to tell you." Lucas leaned closer.

Freddie stopped him. "You get tongue only if you tell, or if the movies sucks or after the date."

"My will power is strong Freddie! I can kiss you way more without tongue than you can kiss me without it." Lucas warned.

"How would that even work? If you kissed me with tongue I'd be kissing you with tongue so we'd both give in at the same time." Freddie pointed out.

"You don't know I could like to watch movies that suck." Lucas shrugged taking another drink of lemonade.

"I like some movies that suck; it depends on how it sucks. Was it meant to be suckish? Was it a B film, did I know it was going to suck to begin with? Would the plot suck less if the actors were better? Would the actors suck less if the plot was better? I take all of that into consideration." Freddie explained.

"Oh I totally know what you mean. I was going to come up with a rating system for suckish movies, but then I realized I would have to watch the good suckish movies and the bad ones so I decided not to." Lucas pulled his straw out of his lemonade. "Can I have a cherry?"

"Sure." Freddie pushed his soda over to Lucas. He watched as Lucas used the straw. He grabbed a cherry from the bottom by sucking and pulling the straw up. Freddie stared. He didn't know if that was really possible the force of Lucas's sucking had to be really great because the cherry was so far away and pretty large. He usually just stabbed the cherries with the straws. Freddie watched Lucas pull the cherry from the straw. He brought it to his lips and sucked the soda off of it then he bit down almost in slow motion. Freddie gulped. Okay maybe Lucas did have more will power than he did. Lucas ate the other half of the cherry and then he put the stem in his mouth. Freddie continued to watch as Lucas maneuvered his lips around for a bit and then pulled out the tied cherry stem. "I wish I was a cherry."

Lucas looked up at him smiling. He leaned closer putting his hands on Freddie's cheeks he kissed him gently. Freddie made a soft sound in the back of his throat, but before anything else could happen their burgers were placed in front of them.

Freddie pulled away looking up at the waiter. Lucas pulled away too and glared at little at the waiter for interrupting them. The waiter didn't say anything and turned around walking away. Freddie made a, "Hmm." But didn't say anything.

Lucas looked at Freddie. "Ketchup?"

"Sure." Freddie asked. His burger had sauce on it but he liked ketchup with his fries. He let Lucas know when to stop. He picked up his burger and took a large bite as Lucas put ketchup on his bun and fries. Freddie chewed his food normally until he thought he chewed something crunchy. He slowed as he tried to figure out what it was. He didn't like onions so that wasn't it. He chewed and chew, but didn't figure it out until he swallowed. His eyes widened and he pulled his burger away opening the bun. Inside was a clump of curly dark hair. He gagged and pushed the burger away. He grabbed his soda and drank in down quickly and then he grabbed Lucas's lemonade and drank that as well.

"That's really sick." Lucas said when Freddie finally looked at him. Lucas was inspecting Freddie's burger carefully.

"Yeah I think so!" Freddie snapped. Lucas frowned. "Sorry. I know it's not your fault."

Lucas nodded his understanding. "I hope they're from someone's head."

"Of course they are. Where else would they be from?" Freddie asked still a little blunt. As soon as he snapped out at Lucas again he realized there were lots of other places, like arms, legs, pits, pubes, Freddie felt sick immediately. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"Are you just saying that…?" Lucas asked but he stood up. Freddie jumped up and hurried to the bathroom. He didn't get sick but he did wash out his mouth and used soap. Then he washed his hands and his face before going back to the table. Lucas hadn't followed him and he was grateful to that. He was embarrassed already and he didn't want Lucas to see him being all neurotic. When Freddie returned to the table Lucas was talking to a man in a tie and a sports coat. Freddie didn't hear what he said, but the man didn't seem happy. Freddie didn't get closer until the man left the table. Freddie then returned. Lucas had his phone and handed it to him. "Come on we're going."

"But…" Freddie frowned. He didn't want to go. It was their date. Maybe their only one for a while and he didn't want it to be ruined just because of some stupid joke.

"Don't worry. He's getting us something to go." Lucas said. He stepped closer to Freddie hugging him. Freddie relaxed a little. He hadn't realized that he was shaking until his hands stopped when he wrapped his arms around Lucas's waist. He rested his head on Lucas's shoulder. "Hey it's okay. It's not your fault okay."

"Okay." Freddie nodded feeling better, but he was still embarrassed.

Lucas kissed Freddie on the ear as he pulled away. He took Freddie's hand and they went to the front of the restaurant. Lucas stood next to him as they waited for their to-go meals. Lucas kept hold of his hand. He squeezed it several times and eventually Freddie relaxed.

"So what are we going to do now?" Freddie asked.

"We're going to get our food and head over to the theater. We can eat it there before we get tickets and then we'll go in a watch the movie. Are you okay with that?" Lucas asked.

Freddie didn't want to ruin the night and suggest going home after what happened. Even though it would be nice to crawl into a hole and die because of embarrassment. "That's sounds great just as long as I get to see how you tied up that cherry stem."

"Oh I can show you," Lucas leaned in. Freddie tilted his head up slightly, but no kiss came. Freddie turned his head to the side looking at Lucas curiously, but he didn't say anything before Lucas responded. "You're trying to trick me aren't you?"

"Lucas." Freddie whined. He took a small step away from Lucas.

"Hey, babe come on. I don't care about losing."

"Really?" Freddie asked. He wasn't really upset. He knew they were just playing with each other. It was nice and light because of what just happened over dinner.

"Yes really." Lucas grinned. He leaned closer and kissed Freddie for half of a second.

"Boys, your take away." The manager cleared his throat. He held out the dinner. "I really am sorry. I don't think they were trying to be malicious just funny, but it will be taken care of."

"Well it wasn't funny, but thank you." Lucas took the food and the manager turned to leave. "Ready, Freddie?"

"Yup." Freddie hopped up and took Lucas's free hand. They left the restaurant and Lucas brought them over to his car. He held Freddie's door open for him and gave Freddie the take away so that he could hold it on his lap. Lucas drove them to the movie theater, and they stayed in the parking lot to eat their new meals, both checked for any hair before they started to chow down. Neither of them said too much while they were eating. Freddie didn't mind, it wasn't awkward at all. Even if they didn't say much he constantly found that he and Lucas would stop eating, sometimes in mid bite to stare at each other. Freddie thought it was pretty strange when Sam stared with her mouth slightly open when she was eating it was just gross however when Lucas did it Freddie thought it was adorable. Was that love? Freddie wasn't sure, but he knew he didn't want the feeling to go away.

After they finished eating they Freddie waited in line with Lucas. They decided to go see Arthur since it was supposed to be funny. "Do you want popcorn or a drink?"

"I'm kind of full from dinner." Freddie admitted. "But I could share a rootbeer."

"Alright, rootbeer it is." Lucas brought them a large it was almost bigger than Freddie's head. "How do they expect someone to drink one of these without having to go to the bathroom in the middle of the movie?"

"I don't think they really care as long as you don't pee in their seats." Freddie shrugged. "I'm usually okay if I don't start drinking the drink until after the previews start."

"Right but I usually drink most of my drink before the movie even starts." Lucas agreed.

Freddie shrugged. "Maybe they hope that you'll have to see the movie again if you leave during the middle?"

"Very clever." Lucas agreed. He led them into the theater. It was one of those big theaters with the stadium seating, which made it almost impossible for someone's head to block the screen. So Lucas led them up almost all the way to the top but not close enough so they could hear the projector whirling during quieter scenes. The theater was kind of full already so they had to sit a little left of center.

Lucas put the cup down in the holder between them. He took Freddie's hand once he was sitting down and comfortable. "Do you know how awesome this is?"

"Going on a date?" Freddie asked.

"Yeah, that being four hours away from you is not easy dude," Lucas admitted.

Freddie nodded. He didn't really want to think about that. The last couple of days had been really nice. It was great having Lucas around, and he didn't want to think that it was soon going to be over. He just wanted to enjoy the time they had.

Lucas probably noticed Freddie's silent response so he changed the subject. He made some comments about the ads and trivia that came up on the scene. Freddie joined in they joked at the bad music video and they talked a little bit about the movie that they were going to see. Freddie hadn't seen the original but Lucas had and he said it was really funny. He was hoping this movie would be just as funny.

Then the lights went down and the previews played followed by the movie. They didn't really talk during the movie although they were both laughing and occasionally one would ask if the other thought something was funny or explain quickly why they laughed when the other person didn't. So it was really surprising that part way into the movie one of the movie ushers shined a flashlight in their eyes.

"We've been getting some complaints about you boys." The usher said he was a few years older than they were and he was dressed up in a red vest and black pants. He had a badge on his uniform that said Josh.

"You have?" Freddie looked confused.

Lucas was just annoyed. "We're trying to watch the movie?"

"So is everyone else, but we've had some complaints. This is a family theater," Josh said he looked a little uncomfortable but had authority in his voice.

Freddie looked at Lucas and Lucas looked at him. They weren't really sure what to say about that. What did that even mean? Lucas looked back at Josh first. "We laughing too loud were we?"

"No, but we had some complaints about your other behavior. Sharing a drink, touching." Josh was trying to be quiet because of the rest of the people around them, but it was no use everyone was looking at them. Freddie glanced around at the people closest to them. He didn't remember seeing anyone get up to tattle on them and no one around them looked guilty. Actually, most of them looked curious, some of them seemed annoyed because of the interruption and others seemed to be just as confused at Lucas and Freddie were.

"We only bought one drink." Lucas pointed to the cup. "Why wouldn't we share?"

"Well…if you don't want to cooperate. Then you can just come with me and we'll go down to the manager's office and we'll call your parents to come pick you up. We'll let them know about all of this."

"You know normally my mom might be a little concerned about me sharing drinks, but she knows that we kiss so sharing drinks really isn't a big deal."

Josh glared. "Alright that's it let's go." He reached down and grabbed Freddie by the sleeve of his shirt.

"Hey! Don't touch him." Lucas jumped up to his feet. Josh was bigger than Lucas, but Lucas stole Freddie's arm and sleeve back anyway. "If you want us to leave then we're going."

"Lucas." Freddie didn't want to leave. He wanted to finish the movie, but he didn't think that was going to be very likely so reluctantly he stood up and followed Lucas out of the theater. He noticed that the other people in the theater didn't seem happy about it like Freddie thought they should be if they had really complained about them. In fact a few people stopped Josh on his way down and asked for a refund because they'd just missed a good portion of the movie because of the distribution no one said anything about Freddie or Lucas.

Lucas led them out of the theater and back to his car before Josh could catch up to him. "Damn it." Lucas swore kicking the back tire of his car. "What a fucking asshole."

"Hey, hey," Freddie moved closer. He was a little cautious because Sam was always violent to him when she was emotional. He wrapped his arms around Lucas hugging him so that Lucas's shoulder was against Freddie's chest. "Hey calm down Luke. It's okay."

"It's not okay Freddie! He just kicked us out for holding hands and sharing a drink. You know things that people do on a date. We weren't even in a kid's movie and it's 10 at night! So I don't know what families are out right now. It's not okay!"

"Maybe it's not." Freddie was still kind of confused. He knew that Josh had kicked them out because they were guys, but since he didn't see anyone that complained about them and they weren't being vulgar he didn't understand what happened.

"Fuck him." Lucas swore. Freddie looked up. Lucas was clearly more upset than Freddie was. Freddie could see the humiliation and anger in his eyes. Lucas wanted this to be an awesome date but so far that hadn't happened. Freddie moved closer to Lucas putting his arms around him hesitantly, in case Lucas wasn't in the mood to be consoled. "Freddie, I'm so sorry."

"Hey don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong." Freddie pressed his lips to Lucas's temple. "Even if our date was kind of messed up, I still think it was great just hanging out with you. Having you here with me."

"Yeah but you would have liked it more if we hadn't been kicked out right?"

"Of course, but it isn't the first time I've been kicked out of a place." Lucas looked at him skeptically. "Sam?"

"Oh." Lucas smiled a little.

"Hey I saw that smile. I caught you!" Freddie teased pointing a finger at Lucas's smile. This just caused Lucas to smile more. "That's better. Come on let's go back to my place and play video games."

"Hey what about my goodnight kiss?" Lucas asked.

"We can do that when my mom goes to sleep." Freddie smiled widely. Lucas nodded he hugged Freddie briefly and then they broke away getting in the car and going home.

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><p>AN: I hope you guys liked chapter one of the new story! I think this story might be a little darker. How did you guys like the new episode? I really didn't like it at all. It's not that I don't like Seddie I just felt like it was probably the worst possible way to get them together, ever. I didn't get a happy feeling.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: iCan't do this without You

Author: Mrpointyhorns aka Blemery

Rating: PG

Status: In Progress

Part: 2

Pairings: Freddie/Lucas, later Sam/Pete and Carly/Griffin

Warnings: Slash

Spoilers: iMake Sam Girler, iGo Nuclear, iDate a Bad Boy, iReunite with Missy(possibly)

Summary: A long one shot where Freddie and Lucas struggle come to terms with their almost feelings!

Beta: None.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by someone else. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: Okay, I'm sorry. I have not posted the rest of this. I am not satisfied with the ending that I have right now. I am going to start posting the chapters every few weeks though and maybe I can get it right before the ending. If anyone has any suggestions let me know.

Chapter 2

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><p>Lucas actually had to leave earlier than he thought on Sunday, because his mom called and said that he needed to be home to take care of his new foster animal. It was hard for Freddie to see Lucas leave, so after he walked Lucas to his car he spent the rest of the afternoon in his room playing with his robot. He wasn't working too hard however, because he really just didn't want to think about Lucas and how far away he was, but that's all he thought about. Even if his date was spoiled it was still one of the few that he had ever had and none of that even matter because they hadn't been with Lucas. He was able to spend real time with Lucas doing normal things. It was wonderful. Freddie wouldn't pass that up and even with the mishaps he would do it again if given the chance. So Sunday was mostly unproductive. In fact, even Monday was spent in this dream state where he just didn't notice anyone or anything around him. This was probably why he didn't know about Carly's new goal of making Sam girlier until he went over to the Shays' apartment after school.<p>

He tried to leave he really did, but Carly wanted him to role play with Sam. He really wasn't good at saying no to Carly even though he was dating Lucas; Carly was still sweet and nice. Freddie knew he would do anything for her. He was still kind of in love with her, although that was changing, so he couldn't just walk away.

Sam was still being Sam. Even if she was trying to be more girlie she wasn't doing a great job of it. Sam put a paper bag on his head. He smiled inside the bag. If Sam wanted to be girlie that was great, but if she was doing it because of a boy Freddie wasn't sure he was okay with that. He might not admit it very often, but he really liked Sam for who she was, even being mean or vulgar.

He was slightly aware when Spencer came home, but only because he heard Carly start talking to him and step away.

"Okay, so what would you normally do when you want to express how you feel about a guy?" Freddie asked his voice even sounded muffled to him.

"Normally, I wouldn't care about dating him. I would be okay with just hanging out with him and being friends. Something rather than nothing," Sam admitted.

She normally wouldn't admit something like that. Maybe she was progressing. "So Carly already taught you about expressing your feelings with words and not silence or fists?"

Freddie couldn't see Sam, but he would swear he heard her nostrils flare and smell the anger dripping off of her. "I'll show you fists." It was the only warning she had before his back collided with the ground knocking all the wind out of his lungs. That's how she was able to get him on to his stomach and grab his leg. That's the only way. He swears it.

"Sam, Sam!" Carly called. Freddie could hear her running over. "Get off him. Nice girls don't fight!"

"What?" Sam stopped dragging Freddie across the floor. "But…"

"No, buts! Now let Freddie go." Carly instructed.

Freddie remained silent knowing that anything he said wouldn't help him at all. After a while, Freddie thought it probably felt longer since he had a bag on his head and Sam still held his foot, Sam shoved his foot away. "Fine."

Freddie jumped to his feet and ripped the bag off his head. "That's it I'm out of here. You obviously need more training!" Freddie yelled. He stormed out of the apartment slamming the door behind him. He wasn't going to take being humiliated first, beaten up and taken advantage of by Sam and Carly. He knew Sam was probably lashing out because it was hard for her to adjust, but he didn't want to deal with it. When he got to his apartment his mom was already in bed and Freddie knew that Lucas wasn't home yet because he promised to send Freddie a text when he came home.

Freddie checked over his homework. Then, he pulled out the robot he was building to work on it. The robot was small and compacted. It would help with speed, turns and save on energy. He was used to being small so he knew the advantages. He'd already built the robot and it was running smoothly. Now he had to add weapons and start programming maneuvers.

He sort of became lost in his work. He worked until late, almost falling asleep on the floor, but was woken up by the robot rolling into his face. He groaned. He put the robot away and then stretched. He went into the bathroom and washed up for bed. He checked his phone. Lucas had sent him a few message, one letting him know that he was home, one letting him know that he was online and ready to chat, another letting him know that he was playing Warlords and finally one saying that he was going to bed. Freddie felt bad and sent him a quick message telling him about working on the robot and telling him good night. He sent the message as he crawled into bed putting the phone on the table beside him.

Sam's training didn't take as long as Freddie thought it would. One day she was pinning him to the ground and the next she was walking away from a bully who had pushed her over. Freddie was surprised, but he didn't know if he was okay with it. No one deserved to be bullied or pushed around. Usually Sam wouldn't allow that to happen, but she just walked away. Freddie wanted to defend her, but first Evelyn was a girl and he didn't feel right stepping in a situation where he might hurt a girl. However, the second reason was that despite being a girl she could probably beat him up and he would just look pathetic sticking up for Sam.

When Sam and Carly walked away, Freddie turned in the other direction to go to class. He knew Sam would probably take her aggression out on him, and he didn't want to deal with that. He also didn't want to address the fact that he thought what Sam was doing to get a boy to like her was wrong. He knew it was kind of normal for someone to do whatever they could to get someone to like them. He knew that when it came to Carly he didn't let many days go by without reminding her. He even joined iCarly because he had a crush on her, of course that had been a good thing, but he wasn't sure if he would have been as willing to help out if he didn't like her. Lucas had come all the way down to help them get their website back and Freddie was pretty sure that wouldn't be the case if the two of them weren't dating. Still what Sam was doing was so dramatic and Freddie wasn't really sure he was okay with it. However, he felt like she needed to make that decision on her own.

Freddie had physics next anyway, and Carly and Sam like most students only took one science, Freddie was already in biology, but instead of picking a fun elective like drama or cooking Freddie and his mom decided that Freddie should take another science. He had two other electives one was computer technology which all the kids in the AV club were in and the last was Spanish.

His lab partner was Shane. Since he missed so much school and he wasn't able to do everything as easily as before the teacher paired them together since Freddie had the best grade in the class. His partner before that had been Olivia one of the few girls that were in the AV club and the science club.

Shane wasn't in class yet, but Freddie wasn't too worried there was still time until the next bell.

"Hi Freddie." Brittany sat at the lab desk in front of Freddie's. She had been at Sam's party and Freddie was pretty sure she had been talking to Lucas a little, but at least she wasn't as forward or pushy as Kristen.

"Hey." Freddie smiled at her. Brittany didn't usually talk to him. She might be pretty but she was actually smart so she didn't need his help. She also hung out with the cool kids in school so they didn't really have the same friends. "What's up?"

"Oh it's nothing." Brittany smiled slightly and waved off Freddie's question. Then she leaned on the desk. "Rebecca says that she saw you making out with another guy at Sam's party. Is it true?"

Freddie raised his right eyebrow. It wasn't the question that surprised him it was how she asked it. She was pretending to not be interested when she really was interested. He nodded slowly. "He's my boyfriend."

"You know that's a sin right?" Brittany looked at him seriously. She had a tone of voice that told him that she thought it was something that everyone should know.

"I-well…"

"Hey Freddie." Shane interrupted them throwing his bag on the table. "Hey Brittany."

"Hi Shane. Did you know that Freddie was making out with another guy at Sam's party?" Brittany asked.

"Hey I'm right here!" Freddie announced.

Shane smiled at Freddie and then turned to Brittany. "I figured that's what they were doing when they left me alone at the party with two crazy girls."

Freddie couldn't help, but smile with Shane teasing him like that. "I couldn't help it. Kristen was flirting with him forever and I was a little jealous."

"I can see that. The ladies were really interested in him," Shane agreed.

"Wait you know who he was kissing?" Brittany asked.

Freddie looked at her funny since she previously asked him if he knew he was a sinner he wasn't sure why she would want to hear more details about something she thought was wrong. Was she going to ask Lucas those kinds of questions too?

"Yes." Shane looked at Freddie. "Are you okay with me talking about this with her?"

"Oh, yeah. He is already out at home so he said it was up to me." Freddie nodded. He had come out to Carly and Sam, his mom and all of his friends at school so he was determined to not hide who he was anymore.

Shane turned back to Brittany. "He's dating Lucas."

"Lucas Franco?" Brittany wrinkled her nose.

"No!" Freddie was horrified Lucas was known around school for not showering for months, eating ear wax and always adjusting his equipment in class and in the halls.

"Lucas Johnson?" Brittany asked.

"Is he gay?" Shane eyes widened. Lucas Johnson was kind of an average kid. He played on the soccer team and so Freddie didn't know him that well. He wasn't even friends with any of his friends.

"I think he has a girlfriend." Freddie shrugged. He knew from his own experience that didn't mean that he wasn't gay; however, Freddie thought in this case it did.

"Who is it?" Brittany asked.

"He doesn't go to our school. He was at the party because he's a friend of Sam, Freddie and Carly's through the web show," Shane explained. "You know the kid who does the Fred videos."

"No!" Brittany gasped. She looked completely shocked. "No way! I thought Fred was straight!"

"I think Fred is straight too," Freddie admitted.

"Do you really?" Shane asked.

Freddie nodded. Brittany interrupted before he could explain. "I thought you hated him?"

"I never hated Lucas! We just had a fight and we made up," Freddie hurried to explain.

"Made out to make up." Shane nodded his approval.

"This is amazing." Brittany did look amazed. She didn't even say anything else about how Freddie was doing something wrong. She just stared at Freddie and Shane as they teased each other about Lucas and Shane's fear of Carly and Sam.

FreddieLucasFreddieLucasFreddieLucasFreddieLucasFr eddieLucasFreddieLucasFreddie

It didn't surprise Freddie that by the time it was lunch people were looking at him more often and whispering and pointing. He figured out that Brittany must have told some people and by now there probably wasn't anyone who didn't know about his boyfriend or what happened at the party. He sat with the guys at lunch since Sam was still trying to be girlie and his presence wasn't making it easy on her.

"What is wrong with Sam?" Shane asked staring across the lunch room at her. He looked more petrified than he usually did.

"She likes Pete and she's trying to impress him." Freddie explained.

"That new guy? Isn't he a jerk?" Wesley asked.

"He was rude to me, but Sam's a girl she should be alright." Freddie shrugged. Because Pete was on the baseball team and he made friends with a bunch of the cool kids he was kind of a jerk to the nerdy kids around him. He was new and yet he wasn't getting picked on like most new kids. So he probably didn't know what to do with all his power and social standings. However, being a jerk didn't usually spill over to the opposite gender, cool girls usually ignored nerdy boys, instead of picking on them like they might a lame girl. No guy picked on a girl that was wrong, if you were a guy and you picked on a girl then it didn't matter who you were no one was going to like you the next day. It was okay to get mad at a girl and to express that angry by yelling or fighting with words, but being a jerk or picking on another girl was not okay. Sam got away with picking on boys and girls and a few other people did as well, and that's why guys called her a dude and wanted her as back up in a fight.

"It'll be alright." Freddie repeated. He knew that when he smiled at his friends their matching smiles were just as fake as his was. Guys might not pick on girls, but that didn't mean a jerk still wouldn't be a jerk in the long run. However, Freddie felt like he had to let Sam make that decision. If she was in physical danger then he might step in, but he didn't think that was the case.

"Ahem!"

Freddie looked up to see Kristen, Jennifer and a few of their other friends standing at their table. Wesley straightened up. Girls didn't approach them normally and certainly not good looking girls. He smiled at them. Shane looked at them suspiciously; Freddie wondered how much damage Carly and Sam actually caused. Shawn wiggled his fingers at the girls.

"We heard you're trying to convert Fred, I mean Lucas, well I was talking to the girls and I posted a poll on twitter. We all think that Lucas is straight. He's just settling for you because he's confused," Kristen said. She held up her phone so that Freddie and the guys could see the poll that Kristen had posted.

"Um. Thanks." Freddie rubbed the back of his neck. He glanced briefly at his friends. They looked confused. Like Wesley thought one of the girls was going to ask him out or something. "I know how concerned you are. I remember what happened when Lucas stopped making his videos. You don't have to worry though. Lucas isn't going to stop making his videos."

"Freddie that's not what we're talking about. You converted Lucas." Steph, one of the other girls with them spoke up.

"Yeah it's obvious that Lucas is straight we took a poll." Kristen held up a hand to keep Steph quiet.

"You spread your sickness to normal people," Steph continued.

"Stephanie," Kristen turned to look at the other girl hands on her hips now. "You know that's not what we're here about. There is nothing wrong with Freddie being gay. That's okay. He's not spreading his virus. Lucas is confused and I'm trying to help Freddie come to terms with that," Kristen explained.

"You just want to break them up so you can have Lucas for yourself." Brittany pointed out.

"What's wrong with that? Once Lucas realizes he is confused. I will explain to him that lots of people experiment and its okay." Kristen explained.

"It's gross that's what's wrong." Steph spoke up.

Freddie turned to Wes, Shawn and Shane. "I think they distracted each other. Let's go," He whispered.

"I'll stick around. Point these ladies in the other direction." Shawn suggested.

"If you say so." Freddie knew Shawn just wanted to stick around because it meant that pretty girls would actually talk to him. It was cruel that the girls would only talk to him if they wanted something, but that's how it was.

"I'm coming with you." Shane stood up. Leaving his tray, but grabbing his things. Freddie followed. Wes trailed behind them.

After they were back at Freddie's locker they relaxed the girls could find them pretty easily, but they had time to get their stuff and get to class. "Girls are crazy." Shane opened his locker.

"Yeah, but they're so pretty." Wes sighed.

"Dude it's not worth it. One minute you have two girls wanting to date you and the next you are hospitalized and they still want to kiss you." Shane shuddered. "No I'm done with girls."

"What you're gay too?" Wes asked.

"No, I'm not gay. I will wait until I'm eighteen to date women." Shane shook his head.

"You're not going to have a date all through high school?" Wesley squeaked. He didn't know if he could give up girls even if they were crazy.

"Come on guys this is serious. I just had a bunch of girls yell at me for turning a guy gay." Freddie said. He had his forehead pressed up to his locker door. He felt terrible. When only his friends knew Freddie felt like he could pretend that everyone accepted him now he could not do that.

"Hey, relax Kristen seriously has a crush on Lucas so she's not thinking normally. She doesn't care that your gay and once she gets over Lucas she wouldn't care about him either." Shane reassured.

"Yeah what about those other girls?"

"They really don't like gay guys." Wes agreed. "But they're just a few girls. Does it really bother you?"

"Not that they don't like me because I'm gay, no, but I didn't turn Lucas gay." Freddie turned to his friends a deep frown on his face.

"I think Kristen was really the only one that thought that." Wes shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, that's okay, I suppose. I guess I'm use to being some what of an outcast." Freddie sighed. He knew that people weren't going to like who he was sometimes. He didn't really like it, but he could ignore the girls' pestering. It wouldn't bother him anymore than it normally did.

"Hey, Freddie we're here for you, dude." Shane slapped his back. "Except for right now. Bye!" He called and hurried in the direction of his class.

Freddie frowned as he watched Shane leave. Wes followed behind him. "Hey Fredward." Sam called. He turned to see her baulk at the look that Carly gave her. "I mean. Hello Freddie. The weather today is sunny."

"How do you think she is?" Carly asked sweeping her hands to present Sam to Freddie.

"I think you have made her into a girl." Freddie agreed. "When's the big date?"

Carly and Sam ignored Freddie. Carly turned to Sam. "Well if Freddie says you're ready then you're ready."

"What does he know about being a girl?" Sam asked confused.

"He knows enough and he knows you Sam. So he knows when you are being girly and when you're being yourself."

"It's true. I'm really happy that I haven't had any sort of abdominal bruising." Freddie agreed. Sam glared at him. "It will work out."

"I hope so." Sam said.

"Tonight you should come over. I can help you pick out something for you to wear to your dated." Carly suggested. "You should come over too Freddie. We haven't had any time to pick out clips for the show this week."

"Okay, I'll come over." Freddie agreed.

"Great see you later." Carly waved.

"Bye Freddie. Have a splendid day." Sam waved too. Freddie grimaced he liked not having bruises on his stomach but he missed there Sam.

* * *

><p>Later that evening Freddie was trying to work his robot, but his mind was on other things. Mainly the girls at school who thought he was a bad influence on Lucas. He knew that Shane was probably right and the whole issue would blow over. It was something that Freddie couldn't control and knew that he would have to face during his life, but it still hurt. It drove a poisoned dagger into his stomach just like in the play Romeo and Juliet.<p>

He would start working on a part of his robot and his mind would drift off into little scenario where one of the girls would be on his case about Lucas again and Freddie would try to defend himself. He was trying to think of the perfect thing to say, but even in his head the girls would come up with something to counteract whatever he said with something even better. Sometimes Lucas would show up and that sometimes helped, but sometimes it caused more problems. Only once or twice did Lucas 'discover' that the girls were right, but when he didn't the girls were persistent or they hurt Lucas. Freddie liked is even less when Lucas was hurt. If it was just him dealing with the girls in his head it was fine, but if Lucas was there and he got hurt because of him that was terrible.

So it didn't surprise him that when his mom came in to hand him their home phone she scared him. She wasn't even wearing an aging mask. He jumped and grabbed his chest. "Mom don't sneak up on me."

"Sneak up on you? Freddie are you okay? Can you hear me alright?" She asked speaking louder as she progressed. "I'm calling the doctor." She took the phone back from where she was holding it. "Sorry Lucas, he'll have to call you back. I need to call the doctor." She said curtly before hanging up.

"Mom?" Freddie jumped up. "I can hear fine. I was just spacing out. You know a normal teenager trait." Freddie reassured. "We had this talk."

"Oh right." Ms. Benson reached out and touched Freddie's cheek. "But it's not something normal is it? Something is bothering you right?"

Freddie looked away. He absolutely did not want his mother getting involved or worrying over him. She did that enough already. He could let her deal with this too. Freddie shrugged. "Yeah, but it's just you know hormones and stuff."

Marissa clucked her tongue. "You know I don't like it when you keep things from me Freddie Benson."

Freddie nodded, but he looked up at his mom silently pleading for her to just drop it.

She sighed. "Listen if you don't want to talk about it with me you can talk to Spencer and if that is still bothering you then I want you to at least talk to Lucas okay?"

"Okay, I promise to talk to Lucas right now. He's probably worried about the fact that he thinks you're calling the doctor." Freddie agreed pulling out his pear phone.

Marissa didn't think it was the best option. She preferred that Freddie talk to an adult, but sometimes kids needed to talk to their friends first. Freddie was a teenager and he did deserve privacy. He wasn't showing any signs of drug use or physical signs of trauma so she just had to give him a bit of space. Hopefully if the situation was too big for him Lucas would get Freddie to talk to an adult. She leaned forward and kissed Freddie's head before leaving him to his phone call. She went to make a note in her journal that Freddie showed signs of spacing out, just in case it was needed for medical diagnoses later.

Freddie sat down on his bed and called Lucas. He toed the robot arm he had been working on while the phone rang. Lucas answered before the second ring finished. "Freddie! I wasn't sure if I should worry or not since you mom tends to freak out regularly. But you didn't answer your cell or skypee when I tried calling earlier."

Freddie nodded. It was easier to get a hold of Freddie by cell or on the computer, not by his home phone. "Freddie?"

"Oh sorry, Luke. I was just spacing out again." Freddie laughed at himself. Although he didn't feel particularly funny and the laugh droned off to a sigh.

"Hey baby boy what's going on?" Lucas asked.

Freddie tried to think of how to explain what was going on. After finding out about what happened to Lucas when he came out this seemed so small an insignificant except this thing was happening to him.

"Does it have anything to with the fact that fans are fighting on my site about whether or not Fred is gay?" Lucas asked after a while of silence.

"What!?" Freddie jumped up and went over to his computer. His homepage opened up and he clicked on the second most viewed link and scrolled down to the comments.

"Hey Freddie relax. Calm down, you do not need to think that you did anything wrong. I just figured that this had to do with you and I was a little concerned." Lucas did sound concerned.

"How do you always know?" Freddie asked slumping back against his computer chair he was still curious about the comments but he wasn't in a rush to look at them.

Lucas laughed. "How do I know what?"

Freddie smiled. "I don't know. Every time something happens you're just here for me even though you're in Idaho! It's really amazing."

"It's not amazing. I just listen to you. Might actually be more difficult if I had you around all the time and could look at you and touch you," Lucas joked about. He did have a point though. Having a long distance relationship meant that most of their relationship was verbal.

"Well, thanks for listening." Freddie smiled. Freddie explained to Lucas what happened at school earlier that day. It made Freddie feel better just taking about it. The weird scenes in his head stopped playing and hopefully the worst of them, the part where Lucas was hurt, would go away all together now.

"Freddie while you are amazing. I am not gay because of you. Seriously that reward goes to Drake Bell. I know he's old news, but when I was in sixth grade I had a huge crush on him. Plus, you know I had a boyfriend before you. So obviously whether I'm with you or not I am gay." Lucas said. Freddie knew in his head that it was so even before Lucas said it but it was nice to be reassured of the facts too. "Do you want me to confirm the rumors on the comments or do you think that will just make everything worse?"

"I know you're out to your friends and family, but I'm not going to make you come out to your fans and everyone on the internet unless you want to," Freddie replied.

"Well I'm not going to deny it. I would just ignore them." Lucas reassured.

Freddie was at the Shay's working on his pear for the upcoming show. Usually, Carly and Sam picked out the clips they aired, but Carly was so busy showing Sam how to be girly she called him over to do it under their supervision. Freddie was grateful. He had been getting so much hassle from the girls at school about being with Lucas still and he fretted about it when he was alone. When he was busy doing something with his two best friends he didn't have to think about it. Besides, generally the girls made fun of him for not being creative or funny, but obviously they'd figured out that Freddie could be trusted to be at least someone creative, under the right supervision.

Sam was sitting on the couch with her legs crossed at the ankle. She was wearing a skirt and she looked bummed. Freddie didn't notice when Carly had gone upstairs to get something to help with Sam's training. He did know they had been alone for a while so he wasn't surprised when Sam stared giggling. He turned to see her looking at her phone.

"Did you find a clip?" Freddie asked when she wouldn't stop laughing.

"No. It's the new Fred video. It's awesome." Sam shook her head. "I think that last joke was something I've heard you say."

"He posted it?" Freddie asked. He knew that Lucas was working on it the last few days, as he had been plenty busy and quite vocal about how excited he was about it.

"He sent it to his friends first." Sam stood up. "Pull it up on that thing."

Freddie opened up his email and pulled up the video that Lucas had sent to him, Sam, Carly and his friend Greg and Jason back home. The video was great, but Freddie didn't find it as funny as Sam did. She was laughing so hard she even started to cry however, Freddie did laugh at some parts and he was smiling the entire time. Although, admittedly some of those smiles was because he was watching his guy.

Near the end of the video Fred video, a part that Sam hadn't got to yet, Fred stood up and cried out. "This is Fred yelling, 'Lucas likes Freddieeee!' This is Fred whispering, 'Lucas likes Freddie.' This is Fred standing on a lawn chair yelling, 'Lucas likes Freddieee.' This is Fred rolling down a hill attempting to say, 'Lucas likes Freddie.'…"

"Wow!" Carly said from behind Freddie and Sam. "He is saying Freddie and not Fred right?"

"Yup." Sam popped her p in yup. "Are you going to let him post that?"

"Umm," Freddie blushed slightly. "I have to go I'll finish this later alright Carls?"

"Yea see ya." Carly turned to Sam. "Now for you girls don't pop their p's like that generally. It makes you spit and that's gross."

Freddie shoved his pear computer in his bag and hurried out of the apartment and into his own. He hurried in his room and called Lucas on his cell, almost sure that Lucas wouldn't be home to answer him from Skype.

"I already posted the video." Lucas said when he answered.

"You're…amazing." Freddie smiled

"Thanks Baby boy. I thought that was pretty loud and clear enough. Greg hasn't stopped text messaging me ways that I didn't say I liked you."

"I probably should be more concerned about you coming out to the whole world, but I am too happy that you're proud to call me your boyfriend." Freddie explained.

* * *

><p>The very next day, Freddie went to school hoping that something had changed, but worried that it wouldn't. He went to his locker and put away his books for that afternoon. He tried not to look up anytime someone passed him, but he had to know. So after he was finished with his locker, he went to look for Kristen.<p>

Normally, he wouldn't visit Kristen during the day, she was cooler than he was and generally if he didn't have a purpose to talk to her he didn't. It was just too risky to his reputation. He was probably average at best, but it would be easy for her to push him to the very bottom.

That morning however he walked over, she spotted him in her mirror. She smiled and turned around. "I'm glad you found me Freddie."

"You are?" Freddie looked surprised.

Kristen nodded shutting her locker door. "I just wanted to apologize for before. I saw Lucas's new webcast, and I understand now."

Freddie was a little surprised. He didn't think that Kristen could take subtle hints. She hadn't at the party. "It's okay Kristen. I completely understand what it feels like when you like someone and you want them to like you back." Freddie would never forget that feeling. "And you know, if we weren't dating, I'd try to introduce you."


	3. Chapter 3

Title: iCan't do this without You

Author: Mrpointyhorns aka Blemery

Rating: PG

Status: In Progress

Part: 3

Pairings: Freddie/Lucas, later Sam/Pete and Carly/Griffin

Warnings: Slash

Spoilers: iMake Sam Girler, iGo Nuclear, iDate a Bad Boy, iReunite with Missy(possibly)

Summary: A long one shot where Freddie and Lucas struggle come to terms with their almost feelings!

Beta: None.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by someone else. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: Okay I want to say that I am sorry for Pete. I needed an antagonist. I really don't have any dislike for him I just thought he was convenient to use. Plus, I thought it was kind of ironic.

Chapter 3

* * *

><p>Freddie was happier now that the girls were leaving him alone. At least a good majority of them were. There were still some girls that thought it was their business to save Freddie from himself, but now that the rest of the girls either didn't care or thought his relationship was sweet. He suddenly, had allies he never thought of before.<p>

Generally his allies would intercept any girls that wanted to try to save Freddie from being gay. So even if Freddie heard whispers he could ignore them. He knew not everyone was going to like him, and he knew he couldn't go back to the way he was before. He didn't even know how that Freddie had function with such a big secret. How he had gotten away with lying to himself like that?

So he was able to relax and work on his robot or his and Lucas's movie. Although often they would just spend time talking, playing video games or staring at each other, so unofficially their movie was put on hold at least until the summer.

What was even better was that Sam was back to her old self. Freddie never thought that he would be happy about that, but he didn't like seeing Sam put on a show for a guy. She deserved better than that. Sure he didn't like her harsh personality, but it was who she really was. Maybe as she got older she would settle down and be more appropriate, but Freddie didn't want that to come about because of Sam had a crush on a guy.

Sam punched him in the shoulder when she walked into the Shay's apartment. Pete was with her. He was dropped his bag next to hers at the door.

"Hey Carls." Sam called as she went into the kitchen. Carly was in the kitchen as well and Freddie heard them start talking.

Pete walked by the couch as well and stopped to punch him in the ribs a few times. Freddie flinched and stood up. He wanted to say something but he knew the girls weren't paying any attention to him and Pete just looked at him cruelly. "Have to leave so soon Freddie?"

Freddie stared at Pete. He had no idea what to say about that. "You're leaving Freddie?" Carly was standing at the kitchen side of the island. Sam was saying something from the fridge but it was muffled, she probably had meat in her mouth.

"Uh umm…"

"Freddie was just saying that he had to go home." Pete looked over at Carly. "Says he has to bake some cookies."

"Cookies, oh make me some sugar okay?" Sam called clearly.

"I like sugar." Carly said.

Freddie stuttered for a second. "Fine I'll go bake some cookies!" Freddie grabbed his laptop and head out of the apartment and across the hall to his apartment. He went into the kitchen and pulled up a sugar cookie recipe on his laptop. He didn't have most of the ingredients because his mother didn't keep sugar in the apartment if she _needed_ it she always borrowed it. He was about to go back over to the Shays when the skype started to ring. It was Lucas so Freddie answered it. "Hey, I'll be back in a second I have go borrow some sugar from Carly."

"What's up?" Lucas asked.

"I'm baking some sugar cookies," Freddie explained he picked up his apartment keys. "Can you hang on?"

"Sure baby boy, but you're going to have to fedex me some of those cookies," Lucas warned. Freddie laughed and agreed. He waved to him and went back to the Shay's. He knocked on the door and then let himself in.

"What's up Fred-o!" Spencer called from the couch he was sitting on with Pete. Freddie looked around for Carly and Sam, but didn't see them.

"I need to borrow some sugar. I'm making some cookies." Freddie said casually.

"It's called baking Freddie not making." Spencer jumped up and went into the kitchen. "Do you need butter or eggs?"

"No we have that." Freddie shrugged pretty surprised about that because, although not a vegan, his mother didn't usually have animal products in the house. Freddie looked back at the couch and jumped at the look on Pete's face. He didn't even know how to describe it.

Pete lunged for him, and grabbed his wrist, pulling Freddie towards him. He punched Freddie in the guts a few times. Freddie recoiled, but didn't fall. Pete didn't hit as hard a Sam did, but he still didn't like it. "What the!" Freddie gasped.

"I don't like you hanging around with my girlfriend, fag," Pete hissed at him. "Don't let me see you near her again." Pete shoved him back. Freddie stumbled, but didn't fall. He glared at Pete, but didn't do or say anything until Spencer was waving a cup of sugar in front of his face.

"Yo Freddie pay attention." Spencer laughed.

Freddie nodded looking at Spencer. He wanted to say something he really did, but he had already needed help from other people once because of this. It was his choice to come out. He had to face it, right? Anyway, he didn't want to have to rely on other people all the time. He grabbed the cup of sugar and hurried out of the apartment not even saying thank you, which he felt bad about, but since Spencer would probably eat most of the cookies he wasn't too worried.

Freddie paused at the door to his apartment. Lucas was waiting for him inside. He had to decide quickly if he wanted Lucas's help on this one. He knew Lucas would step up for him, but he wasn't sure if he wanted him to. He needed to defend himself not rely on other people. Still he didn't want to keep things from Lucas either that was wrong. He supposed that he could wait a few days before telling Lucas, just so that he could assess the situation, that wouldn't _really_ be omitting information. Freddie was just gathering the facts and he would explain it when he better understood it. It was settled. He opened the door and went into his apartment

"Good news, they had sugar." Freddie said going into the kitchen he pulled out the rest of the ingredients that were needed. "You want a batch right."

"Of course I do. Uh, but only if it's not burnt. I didn't know you baked." Lucas shrugged his shoulders. "Do you bake?"

"I do today," Freddie said. He hoped that he sounded normal he didn't want Lucas to be suspicious. Every time he turned his ribs hurt, and that made Freddie feel guilty. "Oh so you don't usually call at this time. What's up?"

"Well I wanted to see if you wanted to get a quick gaming session in, Greg and Jacob are already on," Lucas explained.

"As soon as I get the cookies in the oven, I don't see why not." Freddie agreed. He would love to waste the afternoon playing video games. It would help him put his mind off of Pete.

"Awesome, see you in about ten?" Lucas blew him a kiss.

"Yah, yah," Freddie shut his laptop off. He pulled out a pan and placed balls of cookie dough on the pan. He made three pans worth and put them in the oven. "Okay now, I'm done making cookies." He said to no one, he realized how silly that was and wondered what people would think if they heard him. Of course if they had then he wouldn't be talking to no one.

Freddie then went into his room to get on his desktop to play World of Warlords. He quickly signed on. Of course his character was on his own, but his friends saw when he signed on. They told him to hurry up because they were waiting to go into a long group quest. Leevi hurried across the country side to catch up.

During the play, the group didn't really get into character too much. Although Leevi and Caleb we holding hands between killing monsters. They focused more on getting through the long quest.

When they were finished it was getting late and Freddie still had homework to do. Plus, he realized that it smelled like fresh baked cookies. "Oh no!" Freddie signed off as he remembered about his cookies. He rushed into the kitchen.

"Don't worry Freddie, I came home when these were nearly finished. I took them out before the alarm went off." Marissa handed Freddie several zip lock bags full of cookies. "I'm assuming these are for your friends. You know that I don't like you eating cookies."

"Yup, I made them for Carly and Sam. Lucas wanted some too. Do you have a fedex box?" Freddie opened one of the bags and took out one cookie to try. They were really delicious. That web recipe didn't lie! They were one of the best cookies he had ever had.

"Of course I do Freddie." Marissa didn't scold Freddie for eating a cookie. She did give him a look. It was one thing to eat a single cookie, but she would say something if he tried to eat another. She went into her office. She took a while so Freddie took another cookie from one of the other bags. He finished it before she came back. She held out a tin box. "Put the cookies in here." She then handed him the fedex box. It was already labeled with Lucas's address. He was only a little surprised that she knew it.

Freddie put the bag of cookies in the tin. It wasn't anything special, but it would keep the cookies from getting smashed. Then he put it in the fedex box. "Okay I'll give this to Lewbert."

* * *

><p>Lewbert gave him a nasty look when he gave him the package. "What is it? It better not be a bomb."<p>

"It's not a bomb?" Freddie frowned.

"Likely story." Lewbert snarled.

Freddie shrugged and turned around. He froze. Pete stood at the bottom of the stairs. He grinned. He dropped his bag and lunged at Freddie again. Freddie was able to dodge at first, but Pete caught his ankle on the stairs. Freddie tripped. Pete jumped on him. He laid into Freddie's ribs once again. Freddie struggled to get away, but wasn't very successful. Lewbert of course ignored it.

"Fag." Pete said on the last punch. Then he stood up and grabbed his bag. He waved to Lewbert and left the building.

Freddie shivered. It wasn't like Pete had hit him that much or that hard. It was just the way he did it. The look he had on his face. This wasn't like any bully that Freddie knew. Freddie stood up. He felt more pathetic because he didn't know how to handle the situation.

He was going to have to think about this and come up with a decision fast. He climbed the stairs to his apartment. He only took a minute to drop the cookies off with Carly and Sam. He still needed to finish his homework.

It was hard to concentrate on homework however, and it took him longer than normal. He was just finishing when Lucas called him for their nightly call.

Lucas talked to him as he got ready for bed. Freddie crawled in and held the phone close to him. "Lucas…I…" _need you._ "better go to sleep."

"Oh, alright talk to you later, baby." Lucas replied. They usually talked for longer than that. Freddie felt guilty again, but he just wanted to sleep and forget about what happened that day


	4. Chapter 4

Title: iCan't do this without You

Author: Mrpointyhorns aka Blemery

Rating: PG

Status: In Progress

Part: 4

Pairings: Freddie/Lucas, later Sam/Pete and Carly/Griffin

Warnings: Slash

Spoilers: iMake Sam Girler, iGo Nuclear, iDate a Bad Boy, iReunite with Missy(possibly)

Summary: Freddie deals with the consequences of coming out. He knew that it wouldn't be easy and he knew that not everyone would accept him. What he didn't know was if he could handle it on his own or not. **This Chapter** reference some of the scenes in iGo Nuclear, I tried not to reference and paraphrase as much as possible, so if it is a little confusing let me know. I will go back and put more direct quotes.

Beta: None.

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by someone else. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

A/N: Okay I want to say that I am sorry for Pete. I needed an antagonist. I really don't have any dislike for him I just thought he was convenient to use. Plus, I thought it was kind of ironic.

Chapter 4

* * *

><p>The next morning when he arrived at Freddie's locker Pete punched him in the back. "Hey!" Freddie turned to glare. "Sam…"<p>

"Not Sam, cocksucker." Pete sneered. He punched Freddie in the stomach and walked away.

Freddie stared after Pete. He wasn't sure what had just happened. Boyfriend doesn't fall far from the tree or something right? Freddie turned back to his locker taking out his science book. He shut his locker and headed to class. They were supposed to get their rubrics for their earth day projects. Freddie already had a great idea so he hoped that it would fall into the parameters.

In class he took his typical seat next to Wesley. "Hey, I made some cookies last night do you want some?" Freddie asked handing over a zipped lock bag of cookies. Wesley gave him a strange look, but before either of them could say more Carly, Sam and Gibby came into the classroom. Gibby and Sam were yelling at each other about something. When Freddie asked, because he had to ask, he found out about Gibby's underwear. Had he really wanted to know that? Maybe Pete was just like his girlfriend. Creepy.

Shawn came in and sat down beside Wesley. "Hey Freddie made cookies you want some?" Wesley offered Shawn some of Freddie's cookies.

"Cool, and yum!" Shawn took more than half of the cookies in the bag. Wesley gave him a hard stare.

Freddie didn't notice Pete come into the classroom until he punched Freddie in the ribs from across the aisle. "Hey Fairy," Pete whispered. Freddie looked around the room. Had anyone seen that? Nope, they were too busy groaning after Mr. Hemming announced that it was green week. Pete punched him again while Freddie was looking around.

"Ouch." Freddie hissed at Pete, just in case Pete didn't realize he was actually hurting him. Pete mocked Freddie's pout.

"Hey Freddie did Pete just hit you?" Wesley whispered while Mr. Henning went over the criteria for the green projects. Freddie looked at Wesley. Someone noticed! "Haha like girlfriend like boyfriend," He laughed lightly. Okay, so he was right about that. Good to know. But, if Pete was so much like Sam, then why was Freddie reacting so negatively to him. Why did it hurt so much?

"Can I be excused?" Sam asked. That interrupted Freddie's thoughts. If Sam left would he be hit again? Why was he so afraid of Pete?

"You need to go to the restroom?" Mr. Henning asked. He was probably surprised that Sam even asked to be excused. Freddie would think it was funny, but then he was still thinking about Pete.

"Nah, I just hate this," Sam explained.

Freddie was relieved because she didn't end up leaving. Luckily with Gibby's antics and Carly's singing Pete stopped hitting him for the rest of that class.

* * *

><p>After he left class, he went to his locker to get his history textbook. Pete shoved him into the locker this time. He punched Freddie several times really hard, really rapidly in the ribs. This time was different then this morning because even though both times hurt this time there was a sharp sting that went along with it. Freddie didn't know what it was until he turned around and Pete punched his stomach too, between Pete's knuckles were small tacks. They didn't seem like much, but they made Pete's punches hurt that much more. When Pete walked away, Freddie's stomach was red with white scratch marks. They burned, but at least they didn't break the skin.<p>

That was it! The next time Pete came over Freddie would talk to him. If he hadn't walked away so fast, Freddie would be telling him now. He'd explain to him that just because Sam sometimes messed with him, didn't mean Pete could. Plus, Sam didn't do this to him. Pete probably didn't understand his relationship with Sam. He probably thought that this was just how Sam acted. That would make sense, except Freddie remembered what Pete had said last night. Sure, Sam said she hated Freddie, but he knew that wasn't true. After all you didn't waste your first kiss on a guy you hated even if it was just to get it over with!

Unfortunately, he didn't see Pete for the rest of the day or maybe that was a good thing. He decided to forget about what happened for the time being, because he needed to focus on his earth day project. So he ignored the fact that Sam probably invited Pete over to Carly's after baseball practice. He went home straight to his own home. He had to get to work.

* * *

><p>He was busy working on the design of his tank when his skype phone started to ring. Only one person called him on skype so he immediately minimized the rest of his screens and answered. "What up, Lukester?"<p>

"That's me. Smoothie time, baby boy." Lucas held up a glass which had purple slush inside and a twisty straw. He made a big show about drinking some, smacking his lips and sighing, "Ahh!"

"Looks delicious. I fedexed those cookies, so this time tomorrow it will be cookie time." Freddie smiled. He laughed at the exaggerated excited look that Lucas had. "Hey, I'm working on this project for class. Let me send you the design and tell me what you think."

"Kay." Lucas agreed. He sipped on his drink and danced his head around, showing off his enjoyment of his smoothie.

"Did Jacob ever level up last night?" Freddie asked as he waiting for Lucas to look over his design.

"Not last night, but he was going to get on this afternoon." Lucas shrugged his shoulders. "Greg's on the track team did you know? So he has practice after school. That leaves Jacob all alone, and bored!" Lucas's face came close to the computer his forehead taking up most of the screen. "Do you think you should order the worms from Portugal?"

"They're special worms!" Freddie explained.

"Hi-tech Freddie very creative I like that you are going to use a fish tank for worms." Lucas smiled. "Did you order the worms already?"

"Yup, the pet shops should have them in by tomorrow. So they should produce plenty of composts by then." Freddie explained. Satisfied that he would be ready to build the composts tomorrow when he got the worms he saved the document and sat back.

"Mmm I love when you talk about worm pooh, baby." Lucas smiled around his straw. "Anyway, now that you're done would you like to join Jacob?"

"What I would like is for you to be on my bed, but seeing as I can't have that today, then I will take you up on your other offer." Freddie agreed.

Lucas smiled. "I wish I was there too, but at least I can distract you from building an awesome robot another way."

Freddie laughed. "I'll remember that, next time you're on my bed."

"Oh, come on Freddie don't leave me hanging out on your bed by myself. Then I would be lonely!" Lucas only pouted for a moment. "Alright, see you on the game." Lucas blew him a kiss. Freddie hurried to get out his headset and log onto the game.

* * *

><p>The next day at school, Freddie had put the incidents from the day before behind him. At least until after the first five minutes of the day, then Pete tripped him in the hall, Freddie hadn't even reached his locker. Freddie fell to the ground. Pete kicked him once hard in the stomach. Freddie groaned and rolled onto his side curling up. "Oh man, what gives?"<p>

Freddie didn't get an answer; well not unless he counted Pete's middle fingers in his face, or the way Pete stepped on his hand as he walked by. Freddie stayed on the ground for a while in pain. He knew he would have to get up before class started, but he just couldn't get up yet.

He didn't get up until Shane's face appeared. He was kneeling over Freddie a funny grin on his face. "Stay up late last night, with Lucas?"

"No," Freddie groaned. "Help me up will you."

Shane stood and helped Freddie up. "Let me try again, you're insane friends did something?"

"It wasn't Carly or Sam." Freddie replied on the way to his locker. His stomach hurt, but he didn't show it. At least Shane didn't say anything about it. "It's just Sam's boyfriend." Freddie opened his locker and looked back at not Shane, but Sam and Carly. "Um where is Shane?"

"What about my boyfriend?" Sam asked. Carly looked like she wanted to know too.

Freddie opened his mouth to explain what happened, but even as he spoke he realized how weak it sounded. "Pete just pushed me down and…"

"Aww poor Freddie, did Pete hurt you?" Sam pouted and talked to Freddie in a baby voice.

Carly laughed. "It probably means he likes you. You know how boys will pull the hair of a girl she likes."

"Carly…"

"Anyway, Fredward we're having an iCarly meeting tonight. I know it's not our normal day, but I have a date on Thursday," Sam explained.

Freddie nodded, "That's cool. I'll come over around four. I have to pick up something from the pet store."

"Don't care." Sam jumped forward making Freddie flinch. "Ha, I made you flinch. Come on Cars."

Carly smiled. "See you in class Freddie." She followed Sam away without her typical 'I'm sorry, I don't know how to control her' look.

Freddie slammed his locker shut, "This irks me." He started to walk to class when a janitor's closet opened and Shane pulled him inside.

"Freddie," Shane turned on the light. "Are they gone?"

"Um, yea. Dude, it smells like cat pee in here." Freddie asked.

"I think the janitor use ammonia." Shane looked relieved. "Anyway, thanks for covering for me."

"You're welcome?" Freddie said patting Shane's shoulder. He opened the janitor's door and got out of there before it got even weirder.

* * *

><p>Freddie's class schedule changed every day. Friday he went to all of his classes, but Monday and Wednesday he went to only the even periods and Tuesday and Thursday he went to his odd period classes. His first period on Tuesdays was Advanced Spanish. He didn't have any close friends in this class. So he was able to relax, even when one of the football players started to sing to one of the theater girls. That was a typical Spanish class for him.<p>

His third period class was his PE class. They were playing lacrosse. Freddie was okay at lacrosse. He didn't play often enough to be good, but he didn't suck at it either. Today was different though. The coach had them pick teams and Pete was one of the captains, one of the football players Tim was another. "You take the fairy." Pete said as he walked up in front of the other guys.

"What fairy?" Tim looked confused. Which should have played in Freddie's favor, but it wasn't long before Freddie was standing there alone. Shawn was picked a few people in front of him and Freddie was much better than Shawn.

"You better take Fairy," Pete said to Tim before leading his team over to their side of the field.

"I thought your name was Freddie?" Tim stared at Freddie for about fifteen seconds. "Whatever, at least I know you don't suck, come on Fairy."

"Uh…" Freddie wanted to correct him, but Tim was already leading them over to their side of the field. Tim put Freddie in between the center and the goal and told him to not suck. The game started and Freddie didn't suck.

He held his own and he shook off Pete for a while until after one play where he defended the midfield. Pete checked him and pushed him to the ground. Freddie looked up in surprise and the end of the lacrosse stick winded him in the stomach. Then Pete was taking off down the field to recover Freddie's block. Freddie sat up looking towards the sideline, but the coach was not paying attention he was talking to the girl's tennis coach.

"Hey get up," Tim offered his stick, which Freddie took and Tim helped him up. "The baseball team plays dirty, Fairy, be careful."

Freddie nodded, that made him feel better knowing that he wasn't being singled out. The baseball team was just rough. After a few more minutes the coach made people shift positions to be fair to everyone. So that put Freddie on the offense. He wasn't as good at offense as he was at defense, but he was able to move the ball down the field, except Pete kept tripping him. Freddie had yet to fall, but his shins were going to bruise if he kept running into Pete's leg, or stick.

"Hey Fairy." Pete called. Freddie glanced back at Pete, and was hit in the face with the end of Pete's lacrosse stick. Freddie entire head snapped around and he fell to the ground.

"Argh." Freddie groaned. He heard a whistle and Pete was given a penalty. Freddie's ear and cheek felt hot and they grew a pulse. He didn't know when the last time something hurt so badly.

"Shawn, get in here and sub for Freddie," The coach shouted. "You better go to the nurse. I don't want to get another phone call from your mother."

Freddie nodded absently and stood up shakily. Shawn gave him a look of remorse, though Freddie thought that he might just be worried about everyone finding out how bad he was now that he had to play. After a few steps, Freddie found his footing and was able to walk alright, but his face throbbed.

"Sorry fag!" Pete called to him.

Freddie stopped, he turn around to talk to Pete to tell him that he couldn't say things like that. "Freddie, what did I tell you!" The coach yelled.

Now, he pays attention to his students. Freddie sighed, not even noticing that the coach yelled at him, but hadn't reprimand Pete at all. He gave up on Pete, there would always be another time.

The nurse looked at Freddie with concern. He had Freddie sit on one of the exam tables. He took Freddie's temperature. "I'm not sick." Freddie complained, but held still while the nurse put the thermometer in his ear.

"I think we should check for a concussion." The nurse tested him for a concussion, but thanks to Marissa's training Freddie knew that if he had a concussion he wasn't showing symptoms yet. The nurse came to the same conclusion

"Well you look alright. Do you feel any pain? Your chart says I am allowed to give you Tylenol. Then, if you want you can lie down and I'll give you an ice pack or you can go?" The nurse asked.

Freddie decided to take the Tylenol. He waited for the period to end before getting up. He arrived in the locker room after his class had finished changing. He took his time and then went to lunch.

If Freddie hadn't been late he might not have run right into Pete, Drew and James from the baseball team on his way. Drew and James looked up, but immediately turned back to their conversation, but Pete he looked up and smiled.

"Fairy!" Pete called.

Well this was a good time to talk to Pete as ever, right? Freddie wasn't nervous. He just felt sick to his stomach. Maybe he did have a concussion. Pete walked over and put an arm around Freddie's shoulder leading him over to his friends. "Listen Pete we need to talk."

"What is it?" Pete asked sounding concerned.

Good he was being reasonable. "Look, I know that you and Sam are dating. Well you might have noticed that Sam's tough. She doesn't like to be pushed around."

"Are you making fun of my girlfriend?" Pete asked he looked at his friends. "Did you hear him?"

"Sam and Freddie are friends Pete," Drew stated. He shrugged his shoulders.

Pete turned back to Freddie. "Are you finished?"

"No. Listen, I'm not making fun of Sam. She's great, but I think you have the wrong idea. She and I are friends. Sometimes she gives me a hard time, but I think you've misinterpret some things. She doesn't push me around like you have been. So I think you should stop," Freddie explained. He hoped that would be enough. He was getting more uncomfortable.

"Freddie, I understand perfectly." Freddie didn't even have time to feel relieved because he immediately continued speaking, "Sam has nothing to do with this. I hate fags." Pete shoved Freddie backward and into the lockers. "You make me sick. That's all there is to it."

"What…did you say?" Freddie groaned when Pete's fists found his gut once again. They were hard and many. "You can't…" Freddie groaned trying to push Pete away while he bowled over in pain.

"I am." Pete laughed. He held Freddie's hunched over body and kneed him in the stomach. "See guys. This is how you treat fags."

"Pete," James said warily.

Pete didn't hear or didn't care about his friends' protests. He kept kneeing Freddie in the stomach until Freddie fell to his knees. Even though Pete's friends sounded uncomfortable they didn't stop Pete. What was almost worse about the whole situation, was getting humiliate in front of Pete's friends. He wished that the floor would swallow him up. Once Freddie was curled up on his stomach Pete kicked him one more time in the back and then he walked away. "Come on guys."

"Let's get out of here before Sam shows up," Drew whispered to James. That hurt Freddie even worse. He thought that Drew and James were uncomfortable with Pete's behavior because they didn't care that Freddie was gay, but they also didn't want to stand up for him. However, that wasn't the case at all. The only reason they had been worried was because they were afraid of Sam. They had a good reason to be afraid of Sam, but it hurt to know that she was the reason why they hadn't joined in with Pete. These were guys that Freddie had known since junior high and it really strung.

* * *

><p>After a the pain stopped radiating from his stomach, he climbed back up off the ground. He thought about going back to the nurse and asking to call his mom, but he hated making her worry and he hated it when she worried. Either way she was going to freak with the lacrosse bruise on his face, but the other bruises she didn't have to see. She didn't have to worry about them if he chose. Anyway, he wasn't a coward. He wasn't going to hide in his bed. He was going to finish the rest of the day. It helped that he didn't have anymore classes with Pete today.<p>

When he arrived home, he had to sneak past his mom. He was supposed to meet Carly and Sam still, and if his mom saw the mark on his face or the swelling, she would become crazy. If she became crazy, then he wouldn't be able to meet with Carly or Sam. So he snuck past her and it would only be the first time that night. He determined that he didn't want her to worry so he'd do the best to avoid his mother the entire night. Hopefully, by the next day the bruise wouldn't be as bad or ugly. The small the bruise the better his mom's reaction would be.

At Carly's she and Sam looked at him with surprise and shook. When Freddie explained to them about the lacrosse game Sam gave him props for being competitive, but Carly seemed nervous for him. She told him that he needed to be more careful. Freddie reassured her that he would, and he was felt good knowing that Sam thought highly of him for once.

"Okay Sam and I want to do this new bit on iCarly. We want to run it by you so that you can tell us if you can manage the tech stuff," Carly explained.

"He better be able to. Why else do we keep him around?" Sam played with the strings on her shirt.

Carly shook her head. "We want to a time travel bit. You know where we travel back in time. It will be perfect for the green screen effects that you've been working on."

"Yeah I should be able to do that, what are you thinking about doing?" Freddie asked.

"Sort of a parody of what iCarly would be like in different eras." Carly explained, "We'll just do our usually stuff, but make it fit for that era. We think it will be fun and educational."

"Mostly hilarious though. We're going to write out the scripts and you can make the scene around that." Sam finished for Carly.

"That should be funny. Like if you did iCarly from the time of the American Revolution or Ancient Greece. Do you want to do it for the next show, because I might need more time than that, especially if you're not finished with the script?" Freddie asked. He knew he could get the green screen to work fine, but finding the backgrounds necessary for the script might be hard.

"Probably not for a few weeks we want to have a few time periods to spoof." Carly looked concerned once again. "Freddie, are you sure you're okay? Maybe you should go home and lay down."

Freddie touched the side of his face it wasn't bleeding, but it felt puffier than it had before. He shrugged his shoulders. "Is it gross to look at?"

"So gross," Carly said.

"I think it looks cool," Sam countered. "You look like a real guy for once."

"Thanks Sam." Freddie winced remembering Pete's words from before. He stood up. "Well I'll save you from looking at this for much longer Carly. I have to work on my earth day project anyway."

Carly looked relieved. She smiled sweetly. "Thanks Freddie. Take care and be careful in gym next time."

"Will do." Freddie went across the hall he was able to sneak into his room. He told his mom he was working on his project and not to disturb him. That's what he did for the rest of the night. The only time he stopped was when Lucas called him when it was close to bedtime. Freddie was glad to hear from him, and secretly glad that Lucas didn't skype, and have to look at his puffy bruise.

"Hi, Baby boy. Guess what I got today! Cookies!" Lucas was happy.

"Oh I forgot I sent those to you!" Lucas's happiness made Freddie instantly and insanely happy. "I bet you ate them all already!

"No, my mom ate one before I came home from school and my Dad ate half of one. Greg ate the other half, it fell on the floor," Lucas explained sounding almost as excited as his Fred character sometimes did. "Busy day?"

"We had an iCarly meeting, but I've been mostly working on my Earth day project. I finished giving the worms their massage and I think they ready to start composting," Freddie explained. He moved the composite over by the computer and then he started getting ready for bed. "What about you? You sound happy."

"I finished a new Fred video. I still need to edit it, but it should be up by the end of the week," Lucas explained. "Don't feel like you have to watch it."

"I'm going to watch it Lucas. I wouldn't guarantee that I will think its funny, but I'm going to watch it." Freddie crawled into bed. "I've really started to appreciate the videos anyway."

"I know you have. You're really good to me Freddie." Lucas sounded like he was smiling.

"Thanks. Hey…" Freddie wanted to say something important but it caught below the surface of his consciousness. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but it was overwhelming. It took his breath.

"What is it?" Lucas finally said.

"Huh?" He felt grounded. That feeling you get just after your body and mind feel separated, not like an out of body experience, more like when you have a feeling of understanding something, that has been out of grasp for so long. Then your world tilts just a little bit and you suddenly see the world different. However even though Freddie felt that feeling, he couldn't place the reason why, he only felt like he understood something had distracted him from knowing what he understood. The thought had been right there, but now it was beyond reach. It made Freddie feel hallow. His new world view was suddenly gone and the old world just wasn't the same as it was before.

"You said, hey and then stopped talking." Lucas explained. "You alright, baby boy, did you hit your head or something."

Freddie laughed uncomfortably.

"You hit your head!" Lucas sounded surprised.

"Uh, well I don't know if I hit my head, but in gym we were playing lacrosse and I was checked in the head by a stick," Freddie explained.

"Sports injuries? I guess I'm dating a jock now. Hey, are you okay though. Why doesn't your mom have you under lock and key?" Lucas asked.

"Uh well, she doesn't know. I don't want her freaking out. It's just a sports injury. The nurse checked me for a concussion and it's just some swelling. She would just blow it out of proportion." Freddie sighed. He was glad that he was being honest with Lucas at least about some of the situation, but he felt bad about not telling him the entire story. He knew that Lucas had to deal with some of this last year. He had to go through it all alone. Freddie felt like he needed to learn to deal with this stuff on his own too. Sure he wasn't alone, but Lucas or Sam weren't always around to protect him. So he needed to learn too.

"Wow is it that bad! Dude, send me a pic at least." Lucas asked.

"No way, I don't want you to see either. It's puffy!" Freddie explained, but he turned on the light beside his bed and snapped a photo with his phone. He sent it to Lucas. He knew he had to or Lucas would beg him forever.

"Woah! This is so awesome! Freddie you're going to be more swollen tomorrow than you are today. How are you supposed to hide this from your mom?" Lucas sounded almost as excited about this as about the cookies.

"Maybe I'm just avoiding the inevitable. When she finds out I will do everything in my power to make sure Mom doesn't think you're a threat." Freddie swore crossing his heart even though Lucas couldn't see it.

Lucas whistled. "Well, I really want to post this to the Fred site, but I guess I'll wait until after that time. I am going to show the guys though. They're going to be impressed."

"You're not, impressed?" Freddie asked.

"I'm the one showing this off am I not? I know it must hurt like a bitch, but it makes you a beast." Freddie didn't know how Lucas could sound sympathetic and excited like that, but he managed.

"Well thanks; I guess that is one good thing. I think I'm going to go though. I'm worried that I won't be able to get much sleep with this thing," Freddie explained.

End of Chapter!

A/N: I just wanted to say that these chapter deal with some very dangerous and upsetting topics. Bullying is not okay no matter what! And a person should never feel like they cannot speak up when they are in a bully situation like this or any other. Also, please don't get mad at me for having Freddie not speak up right away. He wants to try to deal with everything on his own, because he doesn't see it as a big deal at first, but he is too afraid to really stick up for himself. However, be assured that in my opinion if someone was doing the same thing to Sam or Carly, Freddie would not be afraid to stand up for them. He is just afraid of standing up for himself! Thanks everyone for reading. I have another chapter written and another two that I am trying to write but they are being mean!


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